hug me harder, choke me tender (performance), 2025

HUG ME HARDER, CHOKE ME TENDER (performance)

2025

Hug me Harder, Choke me Tender
2025, Performance with an MMA grappling dummy crafted from traditional duvet, satin and nylon fabric, stitches, synthetic fiber and shredded foam, 122 x 70 x 53 cm, Duration: 10 minutes

In Hug Me Harder, Choke Me Tender, the body becomes a site of conflict—where tenderness coexists with violence, and intimacy merges with domination. Using a lifelike MMA dummy crafted from traditional duvet fabric as both partner and opponent, the performance oscillates between gestures of affection and acts of physical constraint, including embraces and rear naked chokes. Through this tension, the piece confronts the blurred boundaries between violence and affection, dominance and desire, consent and coercion.

Framed within the visual language of combat sports and domestic intimacy, the work speaks to both personal and collective politics—touching on themes of relational power, violence, embodied trauma, and eroticism. Hug Me Harder, Choke Me Tender invites the audience into a space where the language of affection is rewritten through physical violence, revealing the fragility—and the danger—of intimacy.

RELATED WORKS
RELATED EXHIBITIONS

hug me harder, choke me tender (pink), 2025

HUG ME HARDER, CHOKE ME TENDER (PINK)

2025

Hug me Harder, Choke me Tender
2025, MMA grappling dummy crafted from traditional duvet, satin and nylon fabric, stitches, synthetic fiber and shredded foam, 122 x 70 x 53 cm

In Hug Me Harder, Choke Me Tender, the body becomes a site of conflict—where tenderness coexists with violence, and intimacy merges with domination. Using a lifelike MMA dummy crafted from traditional duvet fabric as both partner and opponent, the performance oscillates between gestures of affection and acts of physical constraint, including embraces and rear naked chokes. Through this tension, the piece confronts the blurred boundaries between violence and affection, dominance and desire, consent and coercion.

Framed within the visual language of combat sports and domestic intimacy, the work speaks to both personal and collective politics—touching on themes of relational power, violence, embodied trauma, and eroticism. Hug Me Harder, Choke Me Tender invites the audience into a space where the language of affection is rewritten through physical violence, revealing the fragility—and the danger—of intimacy.

PERFORMANCE
RELATED WORKS

hug me harder, choke me tender, 2025

HUG ME HARDER, CHOKE ME TENDER

2025

Hug me Harder, Choke me Tender
2025, MMA grappling dummy crafted from traditional duvet, satin and nylon fabric, stitches, synthetic fiber and shredded foam, 122 x 70 x 53 cm

In Hug Me Harder, Choke Me Tender, the body becomes a site of conflict—where tenderness coexists with violence, and intimacy merges with domination. Using a lifelike MMA dummy crafted from traditional duvet fabric as both partner and opponent, the performance oscillates between gestures of affection and acts of physical constraint, including embraces and rear naked chokes. Through this tension, the piece confronts the blurred boundaries between violence and affection, dominance and desire, consent and coercion.

Framed within the visual language of combat sports and domestic intimacy, the work speaks to both personal and collective politics—touching on themes of relational power, violence, embodied trauma, and eroticism. Hug Me Harder, Choke Me Tender invites the audience into a space where the language of affection is rewritten through physical violence, revealing the fragility—and the danger—of intimacy.

RELATED EXHIBITIONS

the man I beat down, 2025

THE MAN I BEAT DOWN

2025

The man I beat down
2025, Painting by punching on the male body, canvas, oiled thread, stitches, textile dye, 200 x 120 cm

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kız gibi dövüş / fight like a girl performance documentation, 2022

KIZ GIBI DOVUS / FIGHT LIKE A GIRL PERFORMANCE DOCUMENTATION

2022

Kız gibi Dövüş / Fight Like a Girl Performance Documentation
2022, 4 pigment prints on archival Hahnemühle paper, handwriting, framed, 28,5 x 28,5 cm each, 5 Ed. + 1 A.P.

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battle cry, 2025

BATTLE CRY

2025

Battle Cry
2025, 50 x 70 cm Double-sided embroidered flag, satin fabric, thread, metallic gold tassel, 90 cm wooden rod, 45-degree angle brass wall mount, 5 Ed. + 1 A.P.

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heavy hands, 2025

HEAVY HANDS

2025

Heavy Hands
2025, Bronze sculpture of a pair of boxing gloves, 29 x 16 x 13 cm each, 5 Ed. + 1 A.P.

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fight like a girl / pelea como una chica, 2024

FIGHT LIKE A GIRL / PELEA COMO UNA CHICA

2024

Fight Like a Girl / Pelea Como una Chica
2024, Installation & performance in collaboration with Namibia Flores Rodríguez produced for 15 Bienal de la Habana at Wifredo Lam Contemporary Art Centre
2025, Short film accompanying the project

The work consists of creating and performing a new version of Kız gibi Dövüş / Fight Like a Girl specific to the 15th Havana Biennial by collaborating with local participants and by focusing on boxing which is deeply rooted in the local history and context. First introduced at the beginning of the 20th century, today boxing is considered a popular sport in Cuba. Although the ban on professional boxing in 1962 may seem to have hindered its development, Cuban style boxing earned an international reputation as a defensive style focused on tactics, precision and movement instead of offense and power. This style is deeply rooted in ‘Juego de maní’, a stick-fighting martial art and dance that was developed and practiced in Cuba by African slaves working on the sugar plantations. Complicating matters, women were banned from all forms of competition until only a few years ago. Whether this ban was driven by fears of harm to their ‘feminine’ bodies or rooted in a paternalistic culture of overprotecting women remains debatable. Thus, the realisation of Fight Like a Girl / Pelea Como Una Chica comes at a pivotal time, highlighting Cuban women and non-binary boxing practitioners while expanding the relevance of their practice beyond the context of sports.
Combat sports, while susceptible to perpetuating discrimination and gender-based violence, also serve as a powerful tool for empowerment, fostering confidence in one’s body and promoting solidarity. In this context, boxing, interwoven with political history and reflective of current social issues, establishes strong ties and deeply resonates within Cuban society.

Supported by SAHA.

PERFORMANCE & INSTALLATION VIEWS
FILM STILLS
TEXT

Black Panther Namibia

Lioness Lia

Queen Phetjeeja

T-Rex Claressa

Bullet Valentina

Pretty Killer Iman

AK47 Amber

Barbie Ekaterina

Cyborg Cris

Magnum Weili

Panda Jing Nan

Android 18 Anissa and Itsuki

Beautiful Boxer Nong Toom

 

They say “You fight like a girl.”

Those who fight like a young girl, as adult women, as queer, as the exploited, the abused…

 

In fact, those in the ring are,

Those realising their childhood dream,

Those yearning to be the strongest, the best.

 

Those who fight to beat poverty,

Those supporting their families well before puberty.

 

Those who take a break to bear children,

Those who breastfeed between trainings.

 

Those who fight to raise children.

 

Those fighting to survive the abuse,

Those abused as fighters.

 

Those bound to hide their sexual orientation.

 

Those who want to protect themselves on the street and at home…

 

If getting into the ring is a rehearsal of life,

There are rules here in the ring.

Whereas in life… 

…everyone has a plan,

until they get punched in the face.

 

Train hard,

Fight easy.

 

Pay-per-view

Is turned on.

In the stadium,

Bets are on.

Eagerly they await,

Who beats whom?

 

Iron wrists,

Knuckle to knuckle punches.

 

Here, what’s the cost of a win?

What’s the meaning of loss?

 

“Blood, sweat and tears” they say. 

Whose tears,

Where is my blood flowing from?

 

“Muscle Memory”, they say.

The memory of all the individuals

Subject to generations of violence.

 

“No pain, no gain” they say.

Who pains?
Whose gains?

 

Here we are, in the ring,

In the corners.

 

Our punches,

Not meant for your entertainment,

But to protect ourselves,

And just because we like to.

After all, there is freedom in knowing how to punch.

 

Throwing a punch as an act of care.

A form of consensual violence, as one might say.

I chose my safe word.

If I say it, will we stop hitting each other?

 

Against the same potential threat,

As we learn to fight by repeating over and over,

We were made to confront each other

Rather than stand side by side.

 

Would compassion,

Allow for solidarity?

 

Fighting in solidarity,

Acting in solidarity to become stronger,

Becoming stronger to fight.

To watch the film on Vimeo, type namibia

RELATED PROJECT

(se) donner à la Seine (video & performance), 2024-ongoing

(SE) DONNER À LA SEINE

2024-Ongoing

(se) donner à la Seine
2024-ongoing, Video & performance

A water current, subjected to the force of gravity, does not simply flow from upstream to downstream, that is, from a higher point in altitude to a lower point: it grows, widens towards its riverbed called the ‘major’ or flood bed, and narrows, then occupying only the ‘minor’ bed; like a thoracic breath with an atypical rhythm. Thus, we talk about ‘wild’ rivers, like the Loire, whose banks are not yet captive to constructed walls. And even when these water currents, often urban, whose lateral movements are limited and cannot freely expand, the height they reach during floods is considered to hinder daily life or even threaten urban structures, infrastructure, and homes. But in reality, a water current, a river, any body of water, are liminal spaces that mark the perpetual transition between water and the terrestrial, urban environment of the Anthropocene.

‘(se) donner à la Seine’ is being produced during a period when not only the Seine’s cleanup efforts are drawing international public interest, parallel to similar efforts on other rivers traversing European capitals like Berlin and the Spree, but also when rivers are beginning to be granted the status of legal personality.

Since Antiquity, the Seine, an emblematic river, has played a central role in the history, culture, and economy of the region, while also witnessing major social and political events. From the windows of my temporary studio at the Cité Internationale des Arts overlooking the Seine, I was figuratively immersed in this river, and almost literally as well. The artistic research I conducted during the three months of residency allowed me to reflect on the relationships between the Seine and Parisians, especially those who directly or indirectly wield power over this fluvial body.

I arrived at a perception of binary relationships as well as a proposition to diversify and vary them. It seems to be a rather familiar dichotomy where on one side the river is elevated to the divine in the symbolic realm, often represented by a young and beautiful woman, without real power or might, appearing docile; reduced to a commodity, a tool, a resource to be mastered on the other. A non-being rather than an entity in its own right. Therefore, the relationships cultivated with the Seine would belong only to these two registers.

So, how to connect with a water body? How to give to it rather than take? How to give without expecting a return? How to coexist?

The Seine as a liminal experience.

Performance VIEWS
Text

Sous le pont Mirabeau coule la Seine

et son flux

faut-il qu’on se souvienne 

tout ce qu’on prît à la Seine

 

coulent les eaux,

se canalisent les réseaux.

des siècles de crues et d’érosions,

de sécheresse et d’inondations.

 

l’insoumise Seine jadis

quand ça fluait,

débordait à guise,

de plein gré.

 

encadrée désormais,

contrainte par les quais maçonnés,

la Seine est domestiquée.

depuis, 

on y bronze et on y skie.

‘sous les pavés, la plage’ dit-on.

et prochainement, 

ce vieux rêve des présidents.

la Seine, une piscine à ciel ouvert.

 

autrefois nommée Sequana

cette personnification de la divinité

une belle jeune femme svelte elle est

la déesse que l’on se veut 

bienveillante, guérisseuse

et exauceur de vœux.

 

s’est-on jamais demandé

que lui offrir à part des objets

en remerciement de vœux formulés.

 

des armes perdues, offertes, cédées,

et même, on y en a jeté,

aussi bien des pointes de flèches en silex,

que de lances, haches, et des épées.

 

au fond de la Seine

ça défigure, ça corrode, ça érode.

 

multitudes de statues ex-voto trouvées

quand sa source a été fouillée.

qu’en est-il des clés rouillées,

sans oublier leurs cadenas ôtés

par les agents de la municipalité.

 

encombrée d’objets,

vous l’a-t-elle jamais revendiquée?

 

comment donner à la Seine?

se donner à la Seine.

il ne s’agit pas de sa donner sa vie,

ni d’en sacrifier une autre,

puisque quelle source de vie 

voudrait en supprimer une autre?

 

la Seine qui se révèle à moi,

si l’on ne peut éviter 

de la personnifier,

possède des épaules larges 

et une carrure développée.

iel est vigoureuse, imposante,

surtout puissante.

 

ne le croyons pas inépuisable son réservoir,

ni sans fond son déversoir.

toutefois

faut-il le dire à haute voix

que son flux sera toujours là

même quand nous ne le serons pas.

 

mesdames et messieurs, 

mondame et masieur

devant vos yeux 

voici

le vestige du tout premier port des Parisii

se lit le texte d’exposition sur le site

de la crypte archéologique.

 

sur les quais du port de Gennevilliers,

se commerce le sable, farine, ciment et charbon.

des montagnes de conteneurs remplis de colis,

Amazon, Ebay et express Ali,

de livres, de vêtements, de meubles, de jouets, 

de tous les coins du monde sont expédiés.

 

si Paris est

centre de consommation depuis l’antiquité,

La Seine c’était

point de rassemblement des organismes assoiffés.

 

eau souterraine, eaux de surface

eaux de lavage, de drainage.

eaux usées, souillées

eaux nauséabondes.

 

dans la Seine se croisent les eaux

entre les rails, les pavés, les corps, les fontaines, 

les tuyaux et les vaisseaux.

 

que transmet-elle, la Seine dans notre chair;

cette eau intracellulaire?

 

la ville sous la ville

l’eau dans les eaux

 

eau potable

eaux grises, eaux noires.

eaux de ruissellement

eaux pluviales.

 

et plus loin en aval,

à près de 400 km de coulée

quel vent t’apporte cette odeur iodée?

 

Sous le Pont de Normandie 

se meurent les cétacés,

collectés par les musées.

d’ailleurs n’est-il pas ainsi

que l’histoire naturelle s’est rédigée?

 

ne nous croyons pas immanents,

ni nos ponts en bétons.

 

sur ses berges se sont décomposés des mammouths,

dans ses fonds se sont péchés des corps humains.

et une nuit en 61,

on y noya des algériens.

et peut-être bientôt:

l’homme; cet animal disparu désormais.

ne s’est-elle pas lasser

des ruminements mentaux 

de cette espèce à deux pieds,

depuis une éternité?

 

alors maintenant,

voguons à contre courant.

il est grand temps 

pour la cérémonie des vœux olympiques.

 

Sous le Pont d’Iéna

amarreront les bateaux, 

naviguant d’est en ouest,

comme les vagues migratoires

s’achève devant le Trocadéro la traversée,

la Seine accueillant cette cérémonie non sollicitée,

telle une hôtesse involontaire.

 

Sous le Pont des Invalides

se battent en crawl les corps olympiques.

la Seine devient un décor

diffusé en live pour le public.

 

Sous le Pont Alexandre III

se la coule douce le corps de la Seine,

où l’ouvrage d’art s’édifia

au tournant du siècle

à l’occasion des expositions universelles.

 

Sur le Pont de la Concorde

affirme les panneaux « Histoire de Paris »

que se foule aux pieds les pierres antiques

de la fameuse prison démolie.

n’est-ce aussi une autre manière

de dire les fonds se manquèrent

en pleine tourmente révolutionnaire?

 

quelles données tactiles te transmettent

ces pierres de piliers hantées

par ceux qui les auraient gratté

avec leurs ongles jusqu’à en saigner?

 

Sous le Pont Royal

se brise la Seine en cinq travées.

 

et sous le Pont des Arts

se gausse-t-elle

des rambardes grillagées menacées d’être abîmées

par le poids des cadenas des amoureux

et celui de leurs vœux.

 

Sous le Pont Neuf

s’apprivoisa la Seine

en trois décennies de travaux et de halte alternant.

Sur les bords du square Vert Galant

se lamentent les saules pleureurs.

 

Près du Pont au Change

s’est creusé un tunnel sous la Seine.

son écoulement progressivement enserré,

par un réseaux de rails et de couloirs canalisé

où l’humidité oxydée 

rappelle sa présence aux usagers de la RATP.

 

d’ailleurs entrevoit-on

sur le logo des transports parisiens,

ce profil de visage féminin

regardant vers le haut à l’horizon,

comme une carte de Paris simplifiant

la Seine la traversant.

 

Sous le Pont Saint-Louis

flottent les cygnes assoupis,

se jettent les eaux dites salies

à travers les déversoirs d’orages

et les eaux de drainage,

se mêlant au courant.

 

Petite bande annonce:

votre agence vous propose

appartement de luxe, vue dégagée

et situé aux abords de cette divinité,

dans prestigieux quartier.

 

cependant, faut-il se le permettre

à 17 134 euro le mètre 

au carré évidemment

moyennement,

aux quais de Béthune, des Orfèvres et d’Orléans.

 

Sur le quai de l’Hotel de Ville

les fourgons policiers défilent,

se répercutent les sirènes

à travers la surface de la Seine.

 

Sous le Pont Marie 

se dressent les tentes,

cités temporaires aux coloris arc-en-ciel.

cérémonie d’ouverture des JO en vue

évacuation des sans-abri,

déportation imminente en bus pleinement remplis.

 

Sur le quai Saint Bernard

se propagent les vagues des zodiaques 

de la fluviale brigade.

 

4 mètres 10 de hauteur franchie,

les tentes sont inondées.

les poteaux de vidéosurveillance érigés,

font face au courant courageusement

sur la pointe de l’île Saint Louis.

 

Sous le Pont d’Austerlitz

se mesure ses crues,

surveillance en permanence

prise de peur de ses grandes hausses

débit, hauteur mais pas son humeur.

‘quand la Seine a noyé Paris’ encore présent dans les esprits.

nous attend la prochaine crue non pas seulement de la décennie.

 

et ce bras mort de la Bièvre.

on y a tué ses rivières.

jadis cet égout à ciel ouvert,

traversant la ville lumière.

ne se donne plus la peine aujourd’hui 

de tracer sur les cartes ses affluents

disparaissant définitivement.

 

alors, trépignons sur la Seine incarcérée sous béton!

FILM STILLS & VIDEO

To watch on Vimeo, type: seine

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(se) donner à la seine – ex-voto #1, 2024

(SE) DONNER À LA SEINE - EX-VOTO #1

2024

(se) donner à la Seine – Ex-voto #1
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 50 x 70 cm, unique

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(SE) DONNER À LA SEINE - CARTE #5

2024

(se) donner à la Seine – Carte #5
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 70 x 100 cm, unique

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(se) donner à la seine – carte #4, 2024

(SE) DONNER À LA SEINE - CARTE #4

2024

(se) donner à la Seine – Carte #4
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 70 x 100 cm, unique

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(se) donner à la seine – carte #3, 2024

(SE) DONNER À LA SEINE - CARTE #3

2024

(se) donner à la Seine #3
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 50 x 70 cm, unique

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(se) donner à la seine – carte #2, 2024

(SE) DONNER À LA SEINE - CARTE #2

2024

(se) donner à la Seine #2
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 50 x 70 cm, unique

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(se) donner à la seine – carte #1, 2024

(SE) DONNER À LA SEINE - CARTE #1

2024

(se) donner à la Seine – Carte #1
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 50 x 70 cm, unique
(Şerif Kaynar Collection)

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waves unknown #3, 2024

WAVES UNKNOWN #3

2024

Waves Unknown #3
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 50 x 70 cm, unique

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waves unknown #2, 2024

WAVES UNKNOWN #2

2024

Waves Unknown #2
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 50 x 70 cm, unique

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waves unknown #1, 2024

WAVES UNKNOWN #1

2024

Waves Unknown #1
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 50 x 70 cm, unique

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earthen waves #2, #3 & #4, 2024

EARTHEN WAVES #2, #3 & #4

2024

Earthen Waves #2
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 100 x 70 cm, unique

Earthen Waves #3
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 100 x 70 cm, unique

Earthen Waves #4
2024, Acrylic ink on acid-free paper, 100 x 70 cm, unique

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earthen waves #1, 2024

EARTHEN WAVES #1

2024

Earthen Waves #1
2024, Acrylic ink on wenzhou paper, 69 x 1000 cm, unique

EXHIBITIONS
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